It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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