Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
