I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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