Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
