Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
pop tarts are not kleenex
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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