I'd wear matching sweaters with you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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