i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
