drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
