I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
