dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
