we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
