The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
