On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
