He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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