There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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