Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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