No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
