You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
