I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
