I need help removing her.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
