he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
