Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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