Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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