Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
