I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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