i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
