once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
