Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
