Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
