shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
