the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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