Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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