For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
