You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
