What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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