went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
