ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
