you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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