i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
