well you can't waste a boner
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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