So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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