So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
