is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
