i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
