Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
