i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
