GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
