it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize