okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
