Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
