party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
